It's so funny. I read some facebook notes I did when I was a freshman in college, and I am so different today than I was then. My first year in college I was this girl in love, who was just trying to get through the days. My life was a countdown to when I would see him next and I was not happy at UChicago. My classes were too hard, I disliked the basketball team (not the girls, the coaching staff), and I didn't have the same vigor or drive for success that possessed me in high school. Now I am in Paris, happier than ever, and I am flourishing. When Megan and I were discussing studying abroad we both said that we needed this experience, we needed the break. And you know what? I did need this. I needed to come here and be reminded of what I have to look forward to. I needed to be reminded of life. Pascal writes that people are stuck in the past and looking for the future, but that they rarely focus on the present. Paris has brought me to the present. I live in the moment here, because I know that soon it will be over. I do what I want. Any worries that come after this program are irrelevant, because right now I am being Parisien. I am fulfilling a dream. I am eating escargot and reading at the Eiffel Tower. I am speaking French and ordering crepes at stands on the street. I am going to bars and taking trips with friends. I am living.
From my Paris dorm I read the words of 18 and 19 year old me. I don't dwell on what was, but rather I smile because of the growth and progress I have made as a person. Sure, there are things I wish I could change in my past, but experience creates and structures the person and having regrets does no one no good. All I can do is keep living the moment and enjoying my too short time here. Well, again time for bed and remember, carpe diem baby.
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