Today is December 1st. Usually when the month becomes December I get super excited because that means it is my birthday and Christmas month. In the past I have obsessed over my birthday and what presents I would get and how I would celebrate. But not this year. Even though I am turning the monumental 21, I am not excited to celebrate because that means I won't be here. Sure, I have a fantastic dinner planned at Chino Latino with some of my best friends and then a hotel party a week later, but in all honesty my dream birthday would be to walk the Champs Elysees at night with the Christmas lights and the Eiffel Tower light show in the background, a cup of Angelina's hot chocolate in my hand, and snow falling.
I basically had that perfection yesterday with Jake. We got Angelina's hot chocolate and I had a Mont Blanc, then we walked through the Christmas market and down the Champs Elysees with the christmas lights and the Eiffel Tower shimmering. It was pretty much a perfect night. And then this morning Jessen and I went to the Rodin museum and Napoleon's tomb. I have never before been moved by sculptures, but Rodin's moved me. They had such passion to them. They weren't ornamental or showy, but just these real, raw pieces of art. I loved it. After class today me and eight other girls went to the Frog and the British Library for drinks and dinner. It was so much fun to just sit and talk. But at the same time, for me, these types of moments are bittersweet because I know that there are so few moments like this to look forward to. Some people are leaving a week from tomorrow, and I follow soon after.
Yesterday after I got back from the Champs Elysees with Jake, I applied for jobs and apartment searched. I am going to be living at 51st and Woodlawn next quarter, and I already have two job interviews lined up for when I get back to Chicago. It's so surreal to me to think that I actually have to go back and start going back into the UChicago mode. I will be reading 1200 pages a week, writing a bazillion papers, working, doing RSO's, and trying to have a social life somewhere in there. I'm always busy, which I used to love but now I am not sure how I am going to handle it. I am used to being able to go out and just have fun, experience different cities and cultures, and do what I want. I am afraid of being thrust back into American society because I have realized that it is a society I do not like. I just keep telling myself that I have only 1.5 years and then I am going to be back in France teaching English and then hopefully somewhere in the British Isles for law school.
Night all.
No comments:
Post a Comment